If she catches me sniffing the seat of her office chair again, she's either going to fire me or fuck me
this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
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