i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
Randomize
