You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.
wrong number but thanks
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
Single lady's Saturday night: eat doritos, masturbate, eat more doritos. Do shot of Jager. Repeat until desired result is achieved.
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
So I come home this morning to get ready for a job interview and there is garlic seasoning all over the hardwood and a knife in the wall. What. the. fuck.
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
Randomize
