ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
Any particular reason you put 2 smashed up limes in my back pocket last night?
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
Randomize
