I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
our cab driver is having phone sex.
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
Pretty sure I just had sex with the black kid who grew up in a car from "angels in the outfield"
How come I never meet celebrities?
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
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