OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
Shout out to this stomach virus for helping me prepare for whatever slutty Halloween costume I decide to wear.
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
and you fell through a lawn chair
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
Randomize
