big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
Randomize
