I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
Randomize
