he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
Remember my theory about how the universe perfectly unfolds to fuck me? Well, it's at work right now
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
Randomize
