Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
Randomize
