Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
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