she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
Randomize
