are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
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