He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
I'm drunk enough to know I'm texting you and sober enough to know what I'm saying to you
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
Randomize
