I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
Just fell out of the attic onto the garage floor. Okay but might go for an x ray. Smashed one of the kitchen drawers to bits.
Holy Shit Mom
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
Randomize
