HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
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