i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
I got unbelievably drunk yesterday, need some time off. Apparently pulling your balls out to make your buddy's girlfriend miss beerpong shots is frowned upon.
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
Randomize
