So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
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