Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
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