Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
True but thats because hes a fetus.
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
Randomize
