based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
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