he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
Good god you suck at this wake up call. Seriously. If I can, after consuming enough vodka to subdue a russian soldier, muster up enough motivation to call you in the morning and send you naked pictures the least you could do is pick up.
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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