you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
Randomize
