Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
Randomize
