I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
I can feel you judging me through the phone.
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
Last night she showed me how to clean my bowl and now she's drunk making peanut butter filled cookies. Best. Roommate. Ever.
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
Randomize
