I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
Randomize
