then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
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