I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
Randomize
