Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
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