Nothing commands respect in a meeting like Jack Daniels on the breath. You're fine.
i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
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