Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
Randomize
