i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
Randomize
