There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
Randomize
