when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
FYI the landlord called and plumbers will be tearing up the bathroom tomorrow. Apparently the tub is leaking into the apt below us so be sure to pee in the shower today.
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
His best friend's cat died so we had a drunken burial ceremony on the side of his condo at 2am and I'm pretty sure if anyone gets ahold of the video feed from Martini Monday we're all fired.
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
Randomize
