people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
Randomize