jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
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