he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
So I just sent my ex a video snap chat of me getting head from some Venezuelan hottie with the caption I still love you. Think she'll take me back?
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
Headphones came off my phone same time as The Weeknd sang "Who's gonna fuck you like me?"...Everyone at work heard it.
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Randomize
