I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
I heard some girl say 'yeah he mustve been so drunk he kept mumbling and repeating himself'
And I thought
Fuck I do that shit every weekend
So is it bad that I'm using this 21 year old for his hot bod and utter naivety?
No its what 21 year olds are made for
I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
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