i just realized Britney Spears and I are more alike than I thought. Both of us have our parents in complete control of our lives, we both have restraining orders on previous boyfriends, and we all know both of us can put on a hell of a show
I was so drunk last night i ate cereal with a fork.
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
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