worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
Randomize
