can you come get me and bring me shorts and a shirt
maybe shoes and water too
oh and maybe a noose to hang myself
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
Randomize
