I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
Randomize
