Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
I fucking hate you. Some slutty looking drunk chick backed her ass up across the bar and started grinding on you. You ignored her because you didn't want to share you drink
I care about my drink far more than her feelings
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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