I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
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