I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
I wasn't that drunk.
You were calling my cat 'Simba' and holding him up in the air.
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
I just elbowed a roll of wrapping paper, and said “ohh sorry”. I’m still drunk.
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