remember when you told me, jokingly, to not get jizz on your shirt that i borrowed last night?
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
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