After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
i was having this nice romantic moment with my girlfriend. then jimmy came in and peed on the fridge
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
Randomize
