No, I can't hang out with Dave because he already has a girlfriend. The one with the tatoos of cherries on her "cherry." Yeah, she doesn't really make me feel spectacularly comfortable.
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
Randomize
