after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
she went home with me because she said i reminded her of paul rudd. remind me to thank him for his awkwardness
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
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