I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
I JUST HAD PHONE SEX. WHILE TAKING A BATH. FOR AN HOUR. EATING A PLATE OF BURRITOS. TOP THAT SHIT.
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
Hey? Just a hypothetical. You ever accidentally kill somebody's cat on purpose? Like you didn't mean to but it had it coming? If you're wondering it tripped me while I was walking down the stairs and I landed on it as I fell.
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
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