so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
Say something about gay babies.
Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
im returning my roomates shirt with a "i got laid in this" thank you note
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
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