So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
Porn is love you can see.
I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
Randomize
