Is it normal to miss your booty call?
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
3 a.m. laundry plus 100 proof peppermint schnapps does not turn out well. Not only is there a puddle of detergent outside the laundry room that I spilled, but my clothes were found in the dryer wit a box of Franzia and a 40. Good thing I was too drunk to turn it on.
My financial advisor filed my girlfriend's abortion under "investments" so my wife wouldn't find out
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
Randomize
