dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
Randomize
