I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
im having a threesome with these popsicles
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
I just swiped right for a guy on Tinder solely because it looked like he was holding Zoboomafoo
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
Randomize
