im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
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