I'm not unpopping my collar. This shirt is too expensive to crease.
I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
no way
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
A reply to my tweet is getting more likes than mine, the disrespect is real
Randomize
