I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
At McDonald's last night the guy gave you the wrong kind of McFlurry, so you screamed at him, "YOU MCFUCKED UP."
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
I'll never forget how blunt of a wingman you were. "Excuse me, my friend wants to makeout with someone"
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
I need to align my fucking chakras
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
Randomize
