too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
You were such a shitshow...I was just standing in the kitchen eating my toaster strudel and you came in, whispered "you didn't see anything" and led him to the couch
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
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