omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
Randomize
