I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
A homeless guy asked you to feel your boobs, you accepted in exchange for his broom to go with your witch costume..... that's when I cut you off
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
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